I have 6 weeks until baby boy makes his grand entrance (unless he surprises us, of course.) My emotions are great and varied. I remember similar emotions right before Norah was born. I felt sentimental of the time I'd lose, alone with Brian. I felt nervous thinking I'd become weary of being a full-time mom. I did lose some time with Brian, but the blessings have far exceeded any loss. Brian and I still find time to connect and edify each other. I have also have not wearied of being a full-time mom. In fact, it is the most happiness I've felt in my entire life. It is a deep happiness that urges me to wake-up at my child's bidding, smile at nearly everything she does and praise God for such an intensely amazing blessing. What I can learn from that, is the fears and nervousness I am experiencing now, will work themselves out and I will, once again, be blessed in ways I can't foresee. I do ache to think of having to split my attention between two children. Until now, I've been able to hug Norah at her bidding, catch her often, before her falls, give her attention on her timeline. That all will change. It will be a growing, stretching, and learning period for us; to find a new balance with three during the day, rather than the usual two. I know it will be good. It will teach her sacrifice and love for others. It will teach her patience and kindness. However, the stretching experiences (although necessary and in the end, a blessing) will also inflict pain upon her and I don't look forward to that element.
So for the next 6 weeks, I will relish every moment with her- just the two of us. And then we will excitedly add baby boy to the mix. He will be another incredible blessing in our lives. I feel rich, very rich.
I'm so excited for you! I can't believe you only have 6 weeks left! I felt the same way before I had Emmy. I was really sad to lose that special one on one time with June. It is different now, but even better. Nora will love having a brother I'm sure, and even though you have to divide your time, it tends to all balance out and your one on one time will be even more special, and having a brother will give Nora something to do and look forward to! June is excited to see Emmy every day and is always entertained by her. Having two kids, while being really hard especially at first, is so awesome. You're going to love it, you're going to do great!
ReplyDeleteThis post made me think of how important it is to enjoy the situations we're in now, while we're living them, and not put too much focus on the past or future. Sometimes I get caught doing that, so I appreciate that reminder. And I know you'll do great, adding another person to share your time with, because when I came to visit, you had 2 more people to have to pay attention to and I didn't feel at all jipped of my "Emily time". :)
ReplyDeleteHow exciting! Good luck with everything!
ReplyDeleteI'll never forget laying Darla in her crib for bed right before we headed to the hospital to deliver Bennett. Tears rolled down my face knowing that she had no idea what was happening and that it wasn't just going to be her and I any more. But she has learned to love, to share because of Bennett. Norah will do awesome. Just remember that you can always put the baby down and hold her if she needs you. She'll remember it more, and emotional benefit from it. You have many long night to spend just with you and that little new baby. :) You will be an amazing mother of two. Another thing I think about it how you become mother all over again. Mothering one individual is totally different than mothering a different individual. You truly become mother to Norah, and mother to baby boy. Our role as "Mother" changes with each birth. I love you Emma J.
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